The Gabby Goat Gazette

ACORN to do census? Out of Afghanistan??

2009-02-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

The answer to the census question may be decided by the Supreme Court, but watch Obama’s clandestine maneuvers to assign “responsibility” for the census from the Secretary of Commerce to the White House.

Here’s the law:

The Congress, by law directed that:

“The Secretary [of Commerce] shall perform the functions and duties imposed upon him by this title, may issue such rules and regulations as he deems necessary to carry out such functions and duties, and may delegate the performance of such functions and duties and the authority to issue such rules and regulations to such officers and employees of the Department of Commerce as he may designate.”

Credit those folks over at Samizdata ….

As I read it, the Director of the Census must, by law, be within the Department of Commerce and under the direction of the (Senate approved) Secretary of Commerce who then reports to the president. Am I missing something?
Correction: From reading through Title 13, Chapter 1 it appears obvious to me that the POTUS has no role in the census whatsoever beyond, with Senate approval, selecting the Secretary of Commerce and, also with Senate approval, selecting the Director of the Census who ” shall perform such duties as may be imposed upon him by law, regulations, or orders of the Secretary.” Hhmmm… No president mentioned.

The Secretary of Commerce is the only authority the law recognizes. Since as commenter Laird points out, the Constitution did not place the census function in Article II - the Executive branch but in Article I - the Legislative branch, it is not at all within the President’s reach unless the legislature places it there.

And watch for Obama to still try and put ACORN in charge of the census ….

Any question about WHY there are so many Obama-watch sites on the web???

More blurbs from the blogs:

– Stimulus Plan (Porkarama) updates are here ….

Biden: Ignore the voters

HERE’S a good question: why doesn’t Obama tell us specifically HOW this money will resolve his “now or never” crisis? We won’t see any jobs outta this political payback package for years.

– Obama has again voted “present” on this bogus stimulus plan. How to hype a crisis in two steps …. So where exactly is the change we (?) hoped for??? Forget it. It’s the same ole way with a Chicago twist ….

– BREAKING: Obama tells Gates to “stand down” on the troop surge in Afghanistan …..

Is he looking for ‘out‘ in Afghanistan???

– World opinion on Obama is fading ….

From London to America: What have you done?

Pakistan to the US: Show us the money!!!

Russia forms Alliance with six central Asian nations: Take THAT, America.

Ecuador expels US Embassy official: South America rejects the “Chicago way” …

– USS Cole mom is disgusted with Obama …. article and video

Pending: More and more parents and (retired) naval personnel are speaking out about the way the killers of their loved ones are being released ….

more pending …..

Obama Spreads the ... uhhh ... well ...

2008-10-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

... you know ... alright .... fertilizer.

But not on MY lawn or garden.

I'm Gabby Goat.
And I agree with John and Sarah and Joe and all the other Joe's .....

2008-09-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

Eight days after the tragedy of September 11, 2001, Obama -- the man who would be Commander in Chief -- blamed the terrorist attacks on "a failure of empathy."

The July 20 issue of the New Yorker magazine got a lot of attention for its cover, which carried a "satirical" cartoon depicting Michelle and Barack Obama that Obama supporters found tasteless and offensive. Buried inside that issue's feature story, however, was a reaction by Obama to 9/11 that all voters should find even more tasteless and offensive.

The article reprised a piece published in Chicago's Hyde Park Herald on Sept. 19, 2001, and written by a then-unknown and otherwise undistinguished state senator from Illinois. The senator, a former community organizer, wrote that after tightening security at our airports and repairing our intelligence networks, we "must also engage . . . in the more difficult task of understanding the sources of such madness."

According to Barack Obama, the madness that drove terrorists to turn passenger jets into manned cruise missiles aimed at our centers of finance, government and military power "grows out of a climate of poverty and ignorance, helplessness and despair."

As if the answer to the attacks should have been food stamps for al-Qaida.

Sen. Obama advised caution and warned of overreacting. "We will have to make sure, despite our rage, that any U.S. military action takes into account the lives of innocent civilians abroad," he wrote. "We will have to be unwavering in opposing bigotry or discrimination directed against neighbors and friends of Middle Eastern descent."

We should also be just as concerned, he felt, with American anger and bigotry as we were about al-Qaida.

In an opinion piece in Commentary magazine, writer Abe Greenwald commented on Obama's belief that the 9/11 attacks were rooted in poverty and despair. "Strange," he called it, "considering our attackers were wealthy and educated, connected and ecstatic."

As Greenwald put it, Obama "could have asked (terrorist and colleague) Bill Ayers, 'Bill, did your 'failure of empathy' stem from your impoverished upbringing as the son of the CEO of Commonwealth Edison?" Did poverty and despair also cause the Weather Underground member and host of Obama's first fundraiser to bomb government buildings?

Fact is, the roster of terrorists and their handlers reads like a list of of Ivy Leaguers:

Osama bin Laden, the son of a Saudi billionaire, studied engineering. Khalid Sheik Mohammed, architect of 9/11 and other major attacks, has a degree in mechanical engineering. Mohammed Atta, who flew a jet into the World Trade Center, is the son of a lawyer and earned a master's degree in urban planning at Hamburg University. Ayman al-Zawahri is an eye surgeon. Seven doctors were involved in the London-Glasgow bomb plots.

You get the idea, even if Barack Obama doesn't.

In a speech before a joint session of Congress on Sept. 20, 2001, President Bush pointed out the real reasons Islamofascists hate us: "They hate what they see right here in this chamber — a democratically elected government. Their leaders are self-appointed. They hate our freedoms: our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other."

Bush aptly called the 9/11 terrorists and their ilk "the heirs of all the murderous ideologies of the 20th century."

"By sacrificing human life to serve their radical visions, by abandoning every value except the will to power, they follow in the path of fascism, Nazism and totalitarianism," he said.

Knowing the nature of your enemy is the key to victory. On the seventh anniversary of 9/11, we should all thank President Bush for keeping America safe. Along the way, he brought freedom and democracy to the Middle East, draining the terrorist swamp.

Bush gets it. So does John McCain. This is one thing we shouldn't want to change.

I have no idea how Obama's comments have failed to resonate with the American people. Hopefully, those words will resonate before it's too late.

Credit: Gull

ANIMALS Prefer McCain-Palin, too!

2008-09-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

You read the article about how animal owners prefer McPalin?

I got news for ewes -------- ANIMALS prefer the McBrilliant ticket, toooo!!!

Obama's 60 States

2008-09-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

Never underestimate the power of The One.

He plans to stuff the ballot boxes in 10 new states (which he will create on November 3):

Old New York,
Old New Hampshire,
Old New Mexico,
East Dakota,
West Dakota,
East Carolina,
West Carolina,
North Virginia,
South Virginia,
East Virginia.

.

Jesus Juice with Ice, Huck?

2008-01-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

This Huckster guy is soooooo nutso. Even Canadians laugh at him.

Support Canada's National Igloo

Jump to the video.

Everyone who is anyone KNOWS that Canadians live in log cabins and wear red plaid shirts, eh? And axes. They carry axes and eat stew. Moose stew. Which is a heckova lot more tasty than crow. Unless you're from Arkansas.

When "was" isn't the past tense of "is"

2007-12-22T05:09:00.000-08:00

I was there.

In Grosse Pointe, in Birmingham, in the back of the bus and at the lunch counter.

If you weren't there, shame on you. Unless, literally speaking, you were not here. Otherwise -- to deny that you weren't there, at least figuratively, is an even greater shame.

Yep. I was there. With Mitt and George and Martin Luther and a whole passle 'o folks.

Muslim Space Handbook

2007-10-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

OK. I'll be nice. It will be difficult. But I will do my best.

A Muslim Space Handbook has been prepared for - you got it - Muslim astronauts.

There will be a Muslim orbiting toward the international space center this month. (There was a first Muslim. Maybe he complained .....)

I'm not sure if the flight will accommodate foot-washing or prayer rugs -- or even if genuflecting will be possible -- but at least there's a handbook for a praying iman if he so desires (or has time) to formally pray enroute .... face mecca .... kneel .... touch ground ....

Exactly what would any human -- hurling through space at a kazillion miles an hour -- say or do during prayer -- that might require a handbook?

Actually, I've always wondered how anyone could fly through space without praying. Never occurred to me that prayer might have guidelines.

A top-of-the-lungs "Jezzzzzzus!" would definitely be on my list. Or maybe, "Ohhhhh, my Gawdddddd!"

On second thought, if I needed a handbook -- I'd want it to explain how to avoid damnable residual affiliation with previous flight participants such as pigs, monkeys or other space cadet infidels. Like where they'd been standing. Or sitting. I'd also want a window seat. You know, in case any of those 72 virgins I'd been promised might be floating around .....

No Bull --

2007-08-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer.

"I'm going to inspect your farm."

The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."

The AG representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."

So, the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a full nest of hornets and the bull was gaining at every step.

The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!"

BLAAAAH --

2007-08-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

This is an disgrace.

No goat should have to tolerate this persecution. You wimpy humans need to get a life. Now.

Goat trauma, indeed.

BLAAAAAH!!!!!

Popular 9/11 Rescue Dog Dies

2007-07-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

Rest in peace, Jake.

Thanks for your service.

Mutts4Mitt Dogs the Dems

2007-07-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ha! We've had a litter of laughs sorting pet pix for the Mutts4Mitt site.

There's room for more -- check it out!

Hampsters on a Plane

2007-06-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Not only do these poor critters have their days and nights confused, their idea of "nocturnal activity" are a total waste of Viagra.

Diego Golombek and colleagues from the Quilmes National University in Buenos
Aires took a bunch of hamsters and disrupted their normal cycle of 14 hours'
daylight followed by 10 hours' night. They injected some of the subjects with 70
micrograms of Viagra, then shortly after switched off the cage lights early to
simulate the effects of travelling between Paris and New York - a six-hour time
shift - continuing this body-clock bashing for several weeks.
As a result, the hamsters became "disoriented" and, when the lights went out, eschewed their favoured nocturnal activity of hitting the running wheel. It took the control group 12 days to get back to their normal selves, "at which point they showed normal running activity soon after the lights went out", while the
Viagra-boosted guinea pigs were up and running in eight days.

"Disoriented?"

What does disoriented mean in Portugese?

Does the translation relate in any way to a cold shower?

It Takes An Ant Hill --

2007-05-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

---------------------------------

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is
a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is
stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country
of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both callor an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent
the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.

Kidding Around on Mother's Day

2007-05-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

It's Mother's Day!!! I'm on "home-duty" why nanny steps out with the gals for lunch and shopping. When she decides to return (?), the kids and I will have her favorite take-out dinner and an evening with her favorite movie prepared. She's the queen, by the way. We bow to her every need. On Mother's Day. Otherwise, she "mom" to us. And the bestest mom in the whole herd.

Mother's Day wishes:

* To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash).

* To have her 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

* Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty pounds to her figure.

* A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as she puts a razor to her ankle.

* A full time cleaning person who looks like Brad Pitt.* For her teenager to announce, "Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

* A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

* To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

* To be able to step on a plane with their toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no! Why me!!"

* To occasionally get to sleep late on the weekend. I mean is this too much to ask?

* To actually carry on a normal phone conversation with her toddler in the SAME room.

* To actually be able to finish a HOT cup of coffee while her kids are present. An impossible feat!

* To take a hot bath without her toddler suddenly screaming, "Mommy, I have to go potty!" as soon as she hits the water.

You know you're a Mom when ....

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws-up and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything."

We love you, Mom! Really --

.... so the snake sez, what kind of animal am I?

2007-05-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

Stolen by Gull and sent to me:

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop, right on his twitchy little nose.

"Oh please excuse me," said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft,and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"

The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind ofanimal are you?"

The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and replied, "You're soft, you're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls ... You must be a Democrat."

Dems Go DeFEET Up!

2007-04-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

credits: Gull at Perish, TW at Defeat Caucus, MM at Hot Air --

In Memory of the Fallen Hokies

2007-04-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

We are saddened by the events of April 16, 2007 at Virginia Tech. We share the grief of those who lost loved ones and friends.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

God-Speed to the survivors and to all affected by this tragedy.

HINT: Happy Birthday, Heloise!

2007-04-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

It's the birthday of "Heloise" from the "Hint's from Heloise" column. Her daily column of household advice is printed (not by hand, I bet) in more than 500 newspapers in 20 countries. She's the wonder-woman who tells us that hair conditioner can be used for shaving cream, dirty dishes should be stored in the freezer so as not to attract fruit flies, boric acid powder and sugar makes a good roach repellent, and an iron can be used to remove candle wax from a carpet.

Here's more:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ghremedy

Never understood how she learned all this stuff. Doesn't this woman ever go shopping? Watch TV? Wash the car? Mow the yard? Tend the flowers? All day long, she's running through the neighborhood offering to clean everyone else's messes, removing gum from carpets, iron stain from ironing boards, freezer burn from frozen dinners, oil stain from parking lots, mud from mud holes, splinters from splintered boards.

So when does she have time to write all these articles?

And does she have an extra freezer in her house to hold all those dirty dishes?

Inquiring minds want to know ....

When Porkers Fly --

2007-04-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

The President will sign a 21+ million dollar buy-off budget
containing a
troop withdrawal deadline.

Senate Vultures Are Circling

2007-03-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

What a shame the vultures only want George Bush.

Yet, they are willing to sacrifice every principle and value that is critical to the welfare and safety of this nation -- especially our troops in harm's way. All to "get" George Bush.

They are willing to sacrifice the honor of those who have made the supreme sacrifice. All for political gain.

Driven by a blinding hatred of George Bush, democrat vultures are offering any prize, any piece of pork to grease votes to control the fate of national security.

Pelosi, Reid and Murtha -- the vultures of cut and run, the slow-bleeding buzzards, the ministers of misology, the voices of victimizing our troops in their mission in Iraq.

If the American voter is not watching this travesty of honor and integrity -- with the welfare of our troops at risk -- then we deserve what the future holds. And the future that is being wrought by democrats is bleak -- an unfettered challenge to the Constitutional authority of the President and an endangerment to the security of this nation.

The vultures. Raptors of hypocrisy and vendetta.

If they are so generous with funding pork projects to garner votes to discredit the President, let them be daring enough to devour the funding for our troops.

Hill's Got da Junk in her Trunk

2007-03-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

Ain't no funk about this punk.

eh maaaaa maaaa maaaaa. (goat chortle for anyone unfamiliar with goat-speak)

The Rise of Romney

2007-03-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

No butts about it ------- I'm supporting Mitt Romney.

ROMNEY in the NEWS

Honorable Words -- Honorable Man

2007-02-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

Representative Sam Johnson, 2-17-07:

A testament to a true hero.

MY DOG ATE IT.

2007-02-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

Honest.

John Steinbeck's dog really ate his script to Of Mice and Men, the story of two migrant farm workers, George Milton and his simple-minded friend, Lennie Small, who dream of owning their own place and living off the fat of the land.

Steinbeck had worked as a farmhand to pay for his tuition in college, and later took various manual labor jobs in California to support himself as a writer. He began to write fiction about the plight of migrant farm workers after the start of the Great Depression. He published two novels that had some success, Tortilla Flat (1935) and In Dubious Battle (1936), but he wanted to write something about migrant workers that was more like a parable or a myth.

He also wanted his fiction to reach the very workers he was writing about, and he knew that many poor farm workers were illiterate. He had seen theater troupes performing for farm labor camps, and he got the idea that he could write a novel that was made up almost entirely of dialogue, so that it could also be produced as a play.

Steinbeck wanted the story of the novel to be simple, like a children's story, even though it would have a tragic, violent ending. He had almost finished his first draft of the novel when his dog tore the manuscript to shreds.

Told jah.

He eventually rewrote the novel and it was published on this day in 1937. The play was produced soon after, and both the novel and the play were huge successes. Of Mice and Men has remained one of Steinbeck's most popular novels, and it's been made into a movie three times, in 1939, 1981, and 1992.

Oh, yeah. And today is his birthday. Happy Birthday, John!

EWE BELIEVIN' THIS?

2007-02-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

The ewe-of-my-life and I concur that Time has finally torn animal researchers a new one. Do tax dollars actually support this kind of research?

Does this refute that adage about the size of the horns? How about the old joke about sheep in Wyoming walking backwards? Gives the term "sheeple" new meaning, doesn't it?

Snort. Snort.

Zoologists have known for many years that homosexuality isn't uncommon among animals. (My own cat has raised suspicions ever since he tried to mount a cowering male dachshund.) But I was surprised to learn recently that male sheep exhibit homosexuality at least as often as humans: roughly 8% of rams turn out to have sex exclusively with other rams.

This little piece of faunal ephemera might otherwise have gone unnoticed outside the rarely intersecting subcultures of gays and shepherds. But a few months ago, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals launched a p.r. campaign on behalf of gay sheep. PETA claims that researchers in Oregon are killing gay sheep and cutting open their brains in order to learn how to turn gay rams straight. A few weeks ago, London's Sunday Times picked up the story in an unnerving article that states the research "raises the prospect that pregnant women could one day be offered a treatment to reduce or eliminate the chance that their offspring will be homosexual." The story has pinged around quite a few blogs since, and Rush Limbaugh and Martina Navratilova have taken their predicted positions. (Limbaugh: gay activists finally have a reason to oppose abortion. Navratilova: homophobes are murdering gay sheep.)

It's a pity that a story with so much potential for moral indignation and bad sheep puns (ewegenics!) turns out to be wrong. To be sure, a group of researchers led by physiologist Charles Roselli of Oregon Health & Science University has killed about 55 sheep, homosexual and heterosexual, in order to study the neurological basis of sexual attraction. They have confirmed that test sheep are gay by allowing them to pick among males and females that have been restrained in stanchions to await sexual intercourse.

But Roselli says he and his colleagues never had any intention of creating a drug that will turn people straight. And while they have examined whether sheep sexuality can be altered with various treatments, that's not the sole point of their work. Instead, like many other scientists over the past two decades, they are conducting basic research into the nature of sexuality by manipulating hormones in animals. (Such experiments were done on zebra finches--to see if females would pair with other females--as long ago as 1988.) A colleague of Roselli's, Fredrick Stormshak of Oregon State, says a means of identifying gay sheep would be useful to breeders who need to ensure that males will reproduce, but the team hasn't had much success. In its most recent experiments, the group used drugs to block the action of a hormone thought to play a role in making most sheep straight (in other words, this test was designed to produce more homosexual sex, not less). But the results were inconclusive.

The Oregon group's work has shown, however, that gay rams have different brain structures from heterosexual ones, news that should cheer those who see homosexuality and heterosexuality as mere biological variations. (Another small but fascinating finding: all gay rams are butch--none present themselves sexually the way ewes do.)

As Roselli acknowledges in his papers, sexuality in humans is far more complex than in sheep. The whole notion that researchers studying farm animals could develop a "cure" for human homosexuality is a fantasy of the far left and the far right, which both value a gay-sheep "scandal" more than the messy reality that is Roselli's work.

But one could have a good argument about whether adorable little sheep should be killed for sex research. As a gay man, I tend to believe the more we know about the complex interplay of biology and environment that shapes sexuality, the less time we will spend nourishing Old Testament anachronisms about sex.

The more pressing question for me is, What would happen if research like Roselli's did lead to, as the Sunday Times imagined, "a 'straightening' procedure [such as] a hormone supplement for mothers-to-be, worn like a nicotine patch"? I hope scientists have better things to do, but would a Hetero Patch be so awful? It would allow bigoted women to get what they want--straight kids--and ensure that gay kids grow up with moms who, at the very least, didn't try to prevent their existence. Gay people seem to fear we would die out if such a device existed. But the elaborate combination of genes, hormones and psychology that produces same-sex attraction has persisted, against all odds, through the millenniums. Gays have survived Darwinian selection, Nazis, the dulling effects of Will & Grace. I don't think a little patch would ever keep some rams from wanting other rams.

I don't know how the rest of the herd will respond, but my ewe has vowed never to bleat again that "you old goats are just alike" .... Probably gonna curtail that "got your goat" retort, too ....

mehhhhh-ehhhhh-ehhhhhh.

Political Dictionary

2007-02-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to compile a directory of political terms.

Ehhhhhh ... I'll just make a directory of directories, if ya don't mind. You can start with this one. I'll add others later:

Political Terms

There will be a test tomorrow.

The Pledge

2007-01-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

I signed the pledge.

Thanks for the reminder, Gull.

God-speed to our troops and their mission.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
Happy New Year!

Quick -- Call Teddy!!!

2006-11-04T07:39:00.000-08:00

With full credit to Mr. Brookins.

Crossing (out) CNN

2006-10-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

What a poor excuse for what was once a respected American news service. Now CNN wants us to believe that posting a video of a terrorist hit squad shooting a US soldier is something Americans need to see. Over and over again.

Cutting edge journalism. Fairly obnoxious. Balanced on a razor's edge. You decide what to do with the remote.

Foley'd

2006-10-21T13:08:00.000-07:00

.... As in Mark Foley'd: To be "outed" for political gain.

Example: Democrat operatives are "outing" alleged Republican closet-homosexuals while ignoring alleged Democrat homosexuals.

My gut feeling is that you can never have too many closets.

Mine are packed. Packed, I tell ya.

If any operative is clearing out closets near me, I'd like to know about it. I could sure use the extra space!!!!

BDS Brigade!

2006-10-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

We've joined the Bush Derangement Syndrome Brigade and so should you!

Check it out at Perish the Thought!

Bogglered Down ....

2006-09-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

My blog is suddenly boggled down.

My template has gone tempetuous.

I'm flusterated.

Gonna get my friend Muley to kick the bejeezus outta this beta program.

Git'em, Muley.

Animal Victims: 9-11-01

2006-09-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

HONORING .............

Search and Rescue Dogs Killed:

"There were rumors that one of the search and rescue dogs died [mortally wounded by falling debris, shot by his handler]. This did not happen. One dog was injured and needed to be transported to a local veterinary hospital but the dog is expected to be ok." (Read "Servus")Source: Terri Crisp,Emergency Animal Rescue Service

K-9 Police Dogs Killed in WTC:

"Sirius", the resident bomb-sniffing dog at the World Trade Center's Port Authority K-9 Unit was below ground level when the first plane hit. His handler, Officer David Lim, told Sirius to stay in an office as he ran up the emergency stairs to investigate. Officer Lim was buried in the stairwell when the tower collapsed but was pulled from the heap by rescuers. Sirius was never found.
UPDATE Jan 29, 2002: Sirius, WTC Dog, Found in Rubble Sources: EARS, The Times, Dateline NBC

Companion animals killed in WTC:

One Yorkie suffered a fatal heart attack, according to United Animal Nations spokesperson Pam Runquist, and one cat who'd had serious medical problems prior to September 11 died from the stress. Although there havebeen injuries, "the consensus among the animal groups was that all the animals within the evacuated
area had been located and removed from their homes. There is always the possibility that some animals might not have been found, but that number would be extremely small."Source: Terri Crisp, EARS

These wonderful animals will be waiting for their owners, friends and loved ones at The Rainbow Bridge.

As more animal victims are identified, they will be added to this post.

CANINE HEROES AT THE WTC

2001 Tragedy Remembered

2006-09-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

While our politicians are having a food fight over the remote (and the Sunday-Monday ABC miniseries about 9-11), bloggers are writing tributes to the 2,996 victims of the WTC tragedy.

A four-legged specimen -- yes -- but I'm not a political animal. mind you. I do, however, know a smidget about political correctness. For example:

It just ain't right that folks who call themselves Christians want to line funeral routes to protest fallen soldiers and call them names like "queers" and "baby-killers." Dang-nab-it, if I were attending one of those funerals, I'd step to the curb and butt the crapola outta those inbred cretins.

It also ain't right that that former Iranian leader is here in the USofA so close to the 9-11 tragedy. It's like rubbing salt into an already deep cut. Like re-hitting an unhealed scab on your knee or elbow. If I could get through the gates at Turtle Bay or onto the Harvard campus, I'd sneak into that long-nailed scraggy faced critic's bedroom and devour his robes and head-wraps. Might not cause him to cancel his speech, but waiting for the hotel staff to round up one of those complimentary bathrobes and a clean set of towels would delay him a bit!

Lots of other things ain't right either, but I'll hold those until later.

Talking about piging-out on robes and head-wraps has made me hungry.

While I'm masticulating, I'm gonna graze over toward Perish the Thought and start reading those tributes ....

Goatard of the Month: Katyusha

2006-08-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

This month's new goat word (goatard) is not a new word, per se, but a new application of a very old Russian word.

To Katyusha yourself ... to shoot yourself in the foot (preferably while sticking foot in mouth -- if you are affiliated with Hezbollah).

Common usage: Open mouth; insert katyusha.

Source: From Perish the Thought .... "By rejecting this resolution, Lebanon may have just Katyusha'd some of their global sympathy."

Pronounciation: See Foxnews.com .... the "y" is silent if you're from the south. Otherwise, roll the "yu" up behind your eye-tooth and slide it over your tongue.

Extended Definition/Epistemology: (from wikipedia) Katyusha multiple rocket launchers are a type of rocket artillery built and fielded by the Soviet Union beginning in the Second World War. They are multiple rocket launchers able to deliver a devastating amount of explosives to an area target in a short period of time, although with low accuracy, and then take a relatively long period of time to reload. Compared to other types of artillery, they are fragile but inexpensive. Katyushas of World War Two, the first self-propelled artillery mass-produced by the Soviet Union, were usually mounted on trucks.

Katyusha weapons of World War Two included the BM-13, light BM-8, and heavy BM-31. Today, the nickname is also applied newer truck-mounted Soviet multiple rocket launchers (including the BM-14, BM-21, and BM-27), and their derivatives worldwide. It can also refer to Katyusha artillery rockets used individually, a mode of attack sometimes used in guerrilla warfare, military harassing fire, or attacks against population, for example by the National Front for the Liberation of Vietnam, Hezbollah, the Iraqi insurgency, and the Taliban.

Red Army troops adopted the nickname from Mikhail Isakovsky's popular wartime song, "Katyusha", about a girl longing for her absent beloved, who is away performing military service. Katyusha (Катюша) is the Russian equivalent of "Katie", an endearing diminutive form of the name Katherine: Yekaterina →Katya →Katyusha. German troops coined the sobriquet Stalin organ (German: Stalinorgel), after Soviet premier Joseph Stalin, and alluding to the sound of the weapon's rockets and the resemblance of the loaded rocket rails to a pipe organ.

Coming soon to punch lines everywhere: "Are you happy to see me, or is that a Katyusha in your pocket?"

Remember -- you read it first here!

Goatard of the Month: To JUDICATE

2006-07-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Catch my new post over at http://perishthethought.blogdrive.com when I introduce a new goatard (goat word -- for those outside the loop) describing individuals who pass judgment from high places -- such as bar stools, raised benches, soapboxes or limbs about to be sawed off ....

Naginize THIS!

2006-03-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

To Naginize or Naginizing: the ability to be held unaccountable for negative calamity; the failure to act proactively in the face of pending disaster; to shirk responsibility for what may happen within an elected official's jurisdiction, unless it involves taking credit or blaming others; alternately wringing hands or sitting on them. Alternate definition: to draw a Blanco.

Our philosophy: To be ever diligent in our figurative search for words that imply more than their literal meaning. Going where no lexicographers have gone before. Spanning the globe for -isms and concepts within context. Breeching the void when words fail. Uttering sounds before their time. Or something to that effect.

Moon-foolery and -Battery

2006-01-31T02:13:00.000-08:00

*Moonery: (a goatard: goat word) is defined as conduct indicative of barking (or yodeling, whining, yapping, etc.) moonbats.

Hence, moon-foolery and moon-battery are words related to the repetitive behaviors commonly displayed by moonbats (whether barking or drooling as they stare into empty space) characterized by erratic displays of empty rhetoric and/or foolishly irresponsible, hypocritical and out-of-control emots (not to be confused with ewoks) --so obsessed with hating George W. Bush (see Perish the Thought) that their otherwise "normal" (using the word loosely, of course) demeanor may best be described as "ain't-got-no-clue-(spewcussfusshyperventilate)-now-where-did-I-put-my-glasses?"

Personifications: Teddy Kennedy. Howard Dean. Al Gore. Hillary Clinton.

More Goatards from the Net

2006-01-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

It had to be one of those laid-back cool-your-hooves-daze for someone to go word-hunting ...... Couldn't have been Gull (she's been layed up a while) or Fanci (she's been horsing around out west). Must have been Izz or Ethan who head up our speak-in-tongues-when-all-else-fails corps! Anyway -- here's a few goatards to tide you over.

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

16. PRIMATE: removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

Thanks to my friends over at Perish for sending these tidbits to masticulate!!!

New Word 2006

2006-01-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

Odiferous: odorous, skanky, ewwwwwwwww, smelly, gagable.

Get the picture? It's another goatism.

Get used to'um.

DISCLAIMER: We reserve the right to say what we think.

Banished Words 2006

2006-01-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

Words words words.

I've *masticulated* many a word this year.

Not as many as the folks up at the nation's smallest state institution, however.

Guess with all that cold weather and a student body of only 3,000 up in the finger of Michigan -- there has to be a lot of interest in hot air.

Here's the link to their list of Words Banished in 2006. Never used too many of them myself.

Discerning Goats are more interested in making news than breaking news. My counter-parts in the MSM have the monopoly on "breaking" news, anyway.

Did I say "breaking? "

Baaaa-haaaa-haaaaa. They annihilate it daily.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-26T22:59:00.000-08:00

Goat Wisdom: Never look a gift-goat in the mouth.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And if you miss us, we're probably grazing over at

http://journals.aol.com/gullspirit/PerishTheThought/
http://perishthethought.blogdrive.com/
http://www.perishthethought.com/
http://javajunction.blogspot.com/
http://goatgazette.blogspot.com/
http://www.thecreativewoman.com

Our Sister Site!

2005-11-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

Nope. We're not moooooving yet ....

We'll be duplicating and/or placing related posts over at blogdrive for a while -- just to check out all the features ...

You can sign up for alerts/notifications on the main page, if you're inclined to do so!

http://perishthethought.blogdrive.com

Join us!

Ewe, Ewe, Ewe, I'm in love with ewe, ewe, ewe ....

2005-11-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

We met on a cliff, or'looking a ravine.

Tuffs in the right places -- if you know what I mean.

Her close-set eyes glowed in the moon,

I stammered and shuffled like an awkward baffoon.

"Do you trek here often?"

"Your horns are perplexing."

She turned to me slowly -- my dewclaws were flexing:

"I'm here on vacation."
"My home range is east."

I was muzzle to muzzle with a visual feast.

"May I show you my pen?"
"Maybe dinner? A drink?"

She blushed in the darkness; her nose turned bright pink.

"There's a kudzu patch, down near the river."

"I'll lead; you follow." My hooves were aquiver.

She followed me closely, her breath on my rump.

"You can move to my side once we climb up that hump."

Soon we were trotting, wither to wither.

Loin to loin -- my heart was adither.

"How long are you staying? I hope it's for days."

"I'll invite you to pillage and plunder and graze."

She turned to survey me from poll top to hock.

"I leave in the morning, but I can always come ba-ah-ah-ah-ah-ck."

To be continued .....

It's all about goats ---

2005-11-16T17:01:00.000-08:00

We're everywhere and part of everything. You may not recognize us. We like it that way. We lurk and stealth. We manipulate and control every industry, every organization, every structure within society. Every society. Sometimes we change a vowel or two to throw off those who try to horn in on our power base. Here are a few examples of our influence and might.

Glass-Bottom Goat
"Murder She Goat"
Post-it Goat
Fur Goat
"The Goatfather"
"The Goatfather II"
"The Goatfather III"
Goatmeal Cookies
Department of Goater Vehicles
"Sewing your Wild Goats"
Ringoat Starr
B.F. Goatrich
The Pearly Goats
Harlem Goattrotters
"You've goat mail"

And you thought we only munched kudzu and stood around sucking our teef, eh?

Nahh-Nahh-Nahh-Nahhhhh

2005-11-16T03:54:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Goatland.